


You Say What You Need to Say

by Tea_For_One_Please



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxiety, Apologies, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reconciliation, Swearing, might do a second part, they're good bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 00:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_For_One_Please/pseuds/Tea_For_One_Please
Summary: Evan knew he would never be able to mend all the damage he had done over those four months or so, but in his mind there was one more bridge he could try to mend before he gave up.He and Jared had not spoken since a week after the fallout. Now, he could only hope that Jared wouldn't slam the door in his face.





	You Say What You Need to Say

As he crossed the park, Evan noticed he was absentmindedly picking at his shirt, for the first time in months. He stopped, and took a deep breath, suddenly nervous at what he was about to do.

It had been three days since he had met up with Zoe at the orchard. He felt better for it, and knew she did too. He knew he would never be able to mend all the damage he had done over those four months or so, but in his mind there was one more bridge he could try to mend before he gave up.

He and Jared had not spoken since a week after the fallout. Evan, in the miserable loneliness that had followed it, had tried to reach out to him, but Jared had told him, in no uncertain terms, where he could shove his sob story. For the rest of the year, he had avoided Evan. He would not make eye contact; he changed direction if he ever saw Evan in a hallway. Evan tried to never think about the unholy awkwardness that followed that summer, when his mother invited Jared's parents over for dinner and they brought him along. Now, he could only hope that Jared wouldn't slam the door in his face.

He found the street and counted the trees until he found the right house. Yes, this was it. He exhaled deeply and knocked three times. Presently he heard footsteps and the door opened. Evan just about had time to register that it was Jared who had answered when it started to close again. "Wait!" said Evan, and the door stopped, an inch from shutting. It opened again and Jared scowled at him. Evan took him in. He had changed a little - he had new glasses and slightly longer hair, and had lost a bit of weight - but otherwise he still looked the same. Shorts and an open shirt over a band t-shirt, and the same look of unimpressed derision.

"What do you want, Evan?"

"I just wanted to say... I'm sorry."

Jared snorted. "Way too late, man. See you in hell." He went to close the door again.

"I mean it," said Evan desperately. "I treated you like shit, and I'm sorry for it."

"Okay, how about this?" said Jared, who seemed to be losing his temper. "You tell me all the ways you think you fucked up, then when you're done I'll add to the list." Evan hesitated as he took this in. "Go on, I'm listening."

"I was a terrible friend," said Evan. "I used you, I never thanked you, I lied to you, and I left you out of things."

"A solid start," said Jared, "let's see what you missed, shall we?" He started counting on his fingers. "Firstly, everything you just said. Second, you got me involved when it was none of my business. I didn't care about Connor. I'm sorry he died, of course, but he was nothing but an asshole to me when he was alive, and you made me write all that bullshit pretending he was an angel." Evan chewed his lip. He hadn't thought of that. "Then when the Connor Project got famous and started that dumbass fundraiser, you decided that the emails weren't important any more and you had no use for me."

"Yeah," said Evan quietly.

"Shut up, I'm not done yet," Jared snapped. "You told me I had no friends, and that that's the only reason I talked to you. The worst thing about that was that you hit the nail on its fucking head. You knew I didn't have other friends, but _god forbid_ I try and write myself into your stupid saga so I could feel like I had what you had." A deafening silence followed this proclamation. Evan definitely had not considered that. "Oh, and you never even paid me for the emails. Okay, I'm done. Still feel like apologising?"

Evan thought for a moment. It had been a while since he had realised so intensely how much he had let people down. He had spent all this time feeling bad for how he had hurt Zoe and her family. What hadn't occurred to him was the extent to which he had hurt Jared. Unsure of what to say, he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed over two ten-dollar bills. "I can't undo what I said, or what I did," he said as Jared took them from him. "But it would take one hell of an asshole to treat anyone again the way I treated you. And I hope I'm not that much of an asshole." Jared considered this.

"I'll think about it," he said finally.

"Do you, I don't know, want to grab coffee this weekend, or... something?"

"I'll think about that too," he said. "Text me."

"I can't," Evan mumbled. "You blocked me."

"Oh. Right. I'll undo that." Evan nodded, and smiled at him. Jared didn't exactly return it, but he gave him a civil nod and closed the door. Evan picked at his shirt for a moment before wandering off. Another bridge repaired, perhaps. Things were looking up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment with your thoughts or hit me up on Tumblr (@tea-for-one-please)!


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